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The reality of PTSD

 Today I had my bivalent Covid booster. Big deal, right? This is something that has become a normal part of our regular routine every few months, especially when you are immunodeficient. So if it isn’t a big deal, then why the hell can’t I stop the flashbacks? I’ve survived sepsis more times than I care to count. These repeated bouts of near death have left their toll on my previously already fragmented mind, to the extent that even something as common as a low grade fever (a response that is normal after getting a vaccine) sends me in to a panic. I know that the fever I am experiencing is exactly how the immune system is suppose to respond when it starts building an immunity to something, so why can’t I help but worry that this low grade fever is actually a symptom of something much more sinister brewing in my body? Why am I convinced I’m dying? This is the reality of PTSD. It isn’t what you see on tv or in the movies. Something as routine and benign as a vaccine can send you in to a spiral 

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