Today I had my bivalent Covid booster. Big deal, right? This is something that has become a normal part of our regular routine every few months, especially when you are immunodeficient. So if it isn’t a big deal, then why the hell can’t I stop the flashbacks? I’ve survived sepsis more times than I care to count. These repeated bouts of near death have left their toll on my previously already fragmented mind, to the extent that even something as common as a low grade fever (a response that is normal after getting a vaccine) sends me in to a panic. I know that the fever I am experiencing is exactly how the immune system is suppose to respond when it starts building an immunity to something, so why can’t I help but worry that this low grade fever is actually a symptom of something much more sinister brewing in my body? Why am I convinced I’m dying? This is the reality of PTSD. It isn’t what you see on tv or in the movies. Something as routine and benign as a vaccine can send you in to a spiral
I have CPTSD. SO, Let's talk about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) and what the difference is. As the name implies, PTSD and CPTSD, are mental illnesses that develop due to traumatic experiences. While they share some features, one of the main differences between PTSD and CPTSD is the trauma that causes the disorder. PTSD develops as a result of one to a few traumatic experiences. For example, a car accident or an assult. CPTSD develops after chronic, repeated traumatic experiences, like repeated child abuse/sexual abuse, or repeated relationship violance/rape. Types of flashbacks Visual flashbacks are what most people think of when we're talking about flashbacks. But the other types of flashbacks can be a bit more difficult to understand unless you've experienced them. During Somatic flashbacks a person will relive the trauma via physical sensations, such as pain, tha...
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